Mum's the boss.....

The other day I sat at the table whilst my 3 year old ate his dinner. It had been a rather normal day - although with a slightly more grumpy and tired boy who has recently decided that day time naps are fast becoming a thing of the past. (And maybe too I should add that I myself was possibly a little tired and grumpy too). Anyway, as I chanted my usual "don't play with your food, and sit at the table until you are finished" I found myself pondering how many times that day I had had to tell him to do or not do something.

My role as a parent is clearly to shape and direct my child into what I want him to be - taking into account his personality which will also dictate what the end product will be. Feeling overwhelmed at the number of times that on this particular day I had said "don't", I wrote down my rules to check my reasonablness. And also so I could ponder why they were so important to me that I kept saying them over and over.

I know parenting is a challenge for most and we are constantly told to pick the battles you want to have - and certainly many would disagree with some of my seemingly petty peaves, but here they are.

1. Don't jump on the couch. But Why? I know this is one most parents would just leave but I also apply the rule of " would it matter in a year's time if they did that". Well, yes - in a years time when I have to look at a tatty couch with food smudges etc then this would bother me. A bouncy is for bouncing - my furniture should be respected. Children should respect things that are important to others. See below.

2. Don't stand/sit on the coffee table or play trucks on the TV cabinet. But Why? Because children should learn to respect things - I don't want to be looking at scratchesin my furniture for years to come - even if they are memories of my children being young.

3. Eat your food at the table - But Why? Now this one I am a little flexible on. If it is messy food or we are all eating together we must eat at the table. Some snacks can be eaten in front of the TV but mostly TV off for dinner. Also on the food front include sitting at the table until finished and good food before bad.

4. No shoes in the house. But why? Well he doesn't really ask why for this one - he just does it. Keeps the mess out. I must say sometimes I break this rule BUT I have inside and outside shoes as my feet don't cope as well as others with no shoes all the time.

5. Don't hurt the dog, the bugs, the snails etc... But Why? Well pretty obvious really - it will hurt them and if they get really sick they will die and go to "evens" (aka Heaven).
6. Say please/thanks/ excuse me, and no yelling and talk nicely. But Why? Because good manners will get you places in life, earn you respect and shows respect for others.

7. No lego in your mouth or ears or other holes. But Why? Clearly safety plays a large part in this one. It also applies to gum nuts (retrieved from his nose), baked beans and toy car tyres.

8. Shut the back door. And don't slam the doors. But Why? Well it keeps out the mozzies and flies, the dog too, not to mention it is loud, unnecessary and the glass can break.

9. Don't hurt your brother. But Why? Because one day he will be bigger than you and hurt you back.
10. Clean up one activity before the next. But Why? Because mum can't stand having everything messy and you don't need ALL your toys out at once.

11. No breaking things, no throwing toys in the house or rocks outside the house. But Why? When I ask my son why he breaks things he says "so I can fix it" or "you can by a new one at the shop". Well we don't break things cause dad works hard to earn the money to buy them for you and it is wasteful and annoying and no we can't always fix things or buy new ones. As for throwing - well that is to stop things breaking.

And that's it - for now..... He's only 3 and I am sure this list will expand substantially over the years. But if this sets him up to be a healthy, clean and tidy child with good manners, and respect for snails and his mother - then I will have fulfilled my job description.